Even if we are not an addict, aren’t we all recovering from something? Are we not all fighting some kind of battle? I found in this process, that does not just mean we are just recovering from substances. The families are recovering from the addict, the addict is recovering from the lifestyle, and both may be recovering from the chaos. However, I have seen that we tend to replace one obsessions for another to substitute the original one. Carrying the message can be very rewarding for us in recovery. What about those times you want to carry the addict who is struggling instead?
One of the most difficult obstacles I am faced with in recovery is watching someone else suffer from a compulsion and being powerless over their obsession. I watch them choose NOT to help themselves when they were fully able to. There are limits to what we can do for someone else in while they are in active addiction. We can give them our time, compassion, care, empathy and suggestions, however, we cannot make the change for them.
I was once told we are not powerful enough to make anyone use and we are not powerful enough to make anyone not use. We cannot play God and being unable to make anyone change their behavior is a lesson we must all face at certain points in life; “life on life’s terms.” I believe the saying we often hear, pain is the greatest motivator. Yes, it may be hard to watch people drown in shallow water, when all they have to do is stand up. Do we have the right to rob them of their process? Do we ever stop to think how many loved ones and friends watched us drown in shallow water? They had to sit back, allow us to face our demons and continue to pray for us. The best way I have found to help the still suffering addict is to pray for them! We love from a distance and ask our Higher Power to guide them, the same way others did for us. Having faith in something bigger than ourselves, turns out to be the best guidance any of us have to get through challenges in life.
Let’s continue to pray for the suffering addict that is no longer with us and for the one’s that did not make it to recovery, yet.